I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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