alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
