Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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