You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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