I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize