ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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