so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize