After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
