we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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