just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize