why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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