I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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