If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
