Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
