Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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