id be glad to
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
