I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
