Pappa wants mamma naked
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
