Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
