k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
