before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
