Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize