So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We need a shit load of segways right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
