No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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