I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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