I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
