I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
