Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
