I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
