Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
