i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
