Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
