She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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