Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
