I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
