i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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