Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
