Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I woke up under a house in Key West
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize