I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
