Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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