ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
