Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
