my mouth tastes like poor choices
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
