The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
