forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
