covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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