there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
