i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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