I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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