someone owes me an orgasm
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm always down for nudity.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
