Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
