Quick, to the slutcave!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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