everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
