you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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