I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize