My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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