I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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