You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's rum buckets o'clock
They are going to name an STD after you.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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