I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
