He had one of those small greek statue penises
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize