And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
