I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we have pet lesbian snakes
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
