That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
